Boo-Boos

Abby was playing out in the yard with her two little friends who are also 5. She tripped and fell down and came in the house crying. It wasn't bad enough for a band-aid but I gave her one anyway. I always kiss her boo-boos and as I was patching her up, her friends knocked on the door. She goes to answer it and says to them, "It's okay guys. My Mommy is just going to kiss all my boo-boos and make them better.". Awww, it was the cutest thing. I love that she still believes that Mommy's love is a powerful medicine.

I've been tagged

Amy tagged me to fill this out:

i am: very frazzled after this long, busy and stressful week.

i think: that I'm glad it's over and the weekend is beginning

i know: that life is beautiful...even if it's stressful.

i want: to feel all better.

i have : beautiful children and a wonderful husband

i wish: I had infinite patience

i hate: when my family does not pick up after themselves

i miss: feeling good and having energy

i fear: losing someone i love

i feel: exhausted

I hear : the wind and Abby playing

i smell: the dog

i crave: sleep, lots of sleep.

i search: for ways to juggle it successfully

i wonder: why certain people act the way they do...it sucks

i regret: putting off my project until the last minute.

i love: my family and friends

i ache: with tiredness

i care: more than I should about people and things that I cannot change.

i always : give it my all.

i am not: good at standing up for myself because I hate confrontations.

i believe: very strongly in the search for enlightenment

i dance: when I'm cleaning the house and listening to tunes

i sing: along when I know the words.

i cry: when I'm sad or happy. I'm emotional and my hormones have been out of whack for 2 1/2 years

i don’t always: feel like doing my hair

i fight: when I feel it's worth fighting over

i write: notes for class, to-do lists and shopping lists. I am very bad at written correspondence.

i win: for kicking cancer's butt!

i lose: at Super Mario Brothers #3....it's quite embarassing

i never: say never. I'm pretty much open to trying anything once.

i confuse: what I want with what I need

i listen: to a little bit of everything

i can usually be found: at home

i am scared: of losing loved ones

i need: a nap, a hot bath and good book

i am happy about: having a date with my husband tonight

i think : life is a 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.

I don't have anyone on Blogger to tag so I'm tagging Myspace folks.

Working hard

Evan went to work with Josh today because it was bring your child to work day. Apparently he had a busy day because this how we found him shortly after they got home.

2nd time in a week...

Here we go again and again and again....

This is the email I just saw in my student email inbox:

"CAMPUS ALERT posted at 4/22/08 10:30 a.m.

In response to a graffiti threat found last night on campus, students, faculty and staff should expect to see heightened security on campus for the next several days. University Police say threats of this nature do not warrant a change in normal operations.

NIU officials say campus-wide notification about threats of this sort reflects heightened sensitivity to security concerns here and throughout the region.

All members of the NIU campus community are urged to remain calm but vigilant, and to report any information they might have about this threat to the campus police."

And yes, while I was in class I saw a campus officer stroll by the room. I am just so sick of this crap. Should I transfer to a different university? Is this going to get better? It's kind of hard to concentrate on finals and projects and stuff with all these threats. This is 2 in less than a week now.

Best weekend ever!

This past weekend was the best one I've had in many months. It was so much fun hanging out with some of my closest friends and getting a chance to relax after the stress of the past few months.
Friday night Matt, Tom and Megan came down to uh break our blender with us. We wanted to whip up some margaritas with our new blender, but it self-destructed on the 1st try. Thank you Black and Decker! Luckily Matt has a way cooler blender than us and it actually doesn't eat it's own parts. The night started with margaritas and ended with shots of tequila.


Only Matt can drink margaritas from my Wonder Woman cup. Rock on Matt.



RIP Blendy 4/18/2008



Double Megans! Not May-gans.



Saturday morning, I picked up Amy and we headed to Lake Geneva for a girl's weekend with Alycia and Tracy. It was so nice to have girl talk, shop, go to the spa and just relax.



Pretty toes/fingers. Guess which ones are mine.



Of course things got a little silly when the Sparkletini came out.

OOTD's and new glasses, plus kids...argh!

I didn't get around to posting these yesterday because it was insanely busy day. For some reason my children have been acting up really badly the past two days. And of course they've been home with me as well...ack! My neighbors must think I'm awful because it's finally been warm enough to have the windows open and all I've been doing is yelling at my kids. Ugh. I guess it's a good thing that I have a weekend away with my girlfriends to look forward to! I am sure that will recharge my patience.

I had to take Abby to class with me yesterday. That was an interesting experience. We are presenting our projects and I wasn't aware of which date I was assigned (my prof forgot to email me) so when I realized at the last minute that Miss Abby didn't have school, I had to bring along. Didn't want an F on the presentation! Luckily I'm not presenting until May 6th which is the very last class. Phew! Abby sat there drawing pictures of my professor..lol. She wanted to ask a question at the end of someone's presentation too, but I wouldn't let her.

I also got my new glasses and prescription sunglasses yesterday (thank you zennioptical.com).

Me and Evan who is getting SO BIG.



1st OOTD which after wearing for a few hours I discovered the pants were way big and the top didn't fit my bust.

Top and pants: Fashion Bug
Necklace: eBay



Changed because I was uncomfortable.
Tank: eBay
Sweater: Lane Bryant
Gauchos: Fashion Bug



New glasses and sunglasses:

At the lagoon and other silliness

After school yesterday, Abby wanted to play dress up with me. She was really interested in lip gloss. So we had to try about 5 different kinds that she had. She insisted on putting some on me too.






Yesterday was our first (I believe) day in the 70's since last October. So after Josh got home from work, he and I took Abby to NIU's lagoon to the feed ducks. Evan didn't come with because apparently ducks aren't cool when you are on the cusp of teenage-hood.
We only saw 2 ducks, but quite a few geese. These geese were not at all afraid of us and were eating from our hands. One was following us and was kind of shy. I named her Lucy Goosey. I think if I had wanted to take her home as a pet, I could have. There was also a squirrel begging for bread. I was shocked that it was comfortable in the midst of the geese. It got really close to us too which made Josh and I a little nervous. What if it climbed up our pants or something?!? Gah!







At my school, we have geese!







Abby loved climbing all the rocks.




Josh and I...not bad for a photo that Miss Abigail took.

Here we go again...

The university is investigating a bomb threat aimed at health services.
http://www.dailyherald.com/story/?id=174803
WTF?

Are you effing kidding me!?!?!?!

I was there this morning and took Abby with me. You know what...I had a though when we were there too. I was thinking that I was more concerned with her safety than if she'd misbehave (which she did a bit). I had a panic attack the whole time. And I kept thinking...how ridiculous....it won't happen again. Now this....

I just registered for fall semester on Tuesday.I was just getting to the point where I didn't throw up in my mouth a little every time I walked past Cole Hall (where the shootings happened) and feel excited about school again.

OOTD: 4/16

Shirt: eBay
Jeans: Fashion Bug
Pearl necklace: Josh bought it for me on our honeymoon in Ocho Rios, Jamaica



Sorry about all the blogs today. Tomorrow, I'll post pictures from our afternoon playing at the lagoon at NIU.

I know this shouldn't bother me, but...

So ABC News just broke into Oprah (which I was enjoying BTW...Maria Shriver is on) to talk about the Pope going to the White House. I understand that this is exciting to Catholics. I understand that there are a lot of Catholics in the United States. But why do we need to break into Oprah over his visit? It's not enough that it consumed the morning news? Mind you, I'd much rather see the Pope taking up a news hour than a tragedy.

That all being said.....
When the Dali Lama recently visited, I read about it in a very small article in a newspaper. I didn't see anything about on tv. They certainly didn't break into Oprah about it. Why is my religious leader less important than the Pope? 

OOTD, etc...

Again, it's my Mac webcam but this time it was out of laziness because that was easier to get.

Black shrug: Fashion Bug
Purple tank: Torrid
Jeans: Fashion Bug (Zana-Di brand)
Necklace: Ebay


I finished my big paper last night at about 8pm. I was so relieved. I was hoping to present it today but apparently she'd scheduled people different dates when I was home sick last week and missed class. She is supposed to email me my date. I want to get it over with so hopefully it's sooner rather than later. She is going to treat the copy of my paper that I turned today as a rough draft and let me know if I should change anything. I am really thankful for that opportunity. I worked so hard on it, I want to do whatever I can to get an A.

Speaking of school, tomorrow is my registration appointment for the fall. I am going to register for 3 classes, all things I need to graduate. Even though I whined a whole bunch about being burnt out, I realize at this point that I just need to keep going because I am so close.

OOTD: 4/14

I decided as a way to make myself not dress in sweats all week (as I did last week), I'm going to share my outfit of the day (OOTD) with you all.
I see so many other stay-at-home moms in their pj's all day or sweats. I feel crappy when I dress like that all the time. It feels good to get dressed, put on make up and fix my hair. Since I'm a SAHM, I'm not putting on dress pants and button down shirts, but I am trying to spice up my jeans and khakis a little bit.

Sorry the pictures aren't that great. My digital camera was out of batteries, so I had to use the webcam on my Mac.
Of course Miss Abigail had to get in on the action.

Tank: Walmart
Shrug: Fashion Bug
Wide-leg trouser jeans: Roaman's

Does it look better with the shrug open or buttoned? I think I like it better open.

Monday morning madness

It's been kind of a crazy morning.

I woke up to there not being any coffee. Today I need as much caffeine as I can possibly stomach. Although perhaps if I hadn't insisted that Josh crack that second bottle of sparkling wine last night, he would have been able to remember to put the coffee in the pot. Shame on me and my wicked feminine wiles. Thank goodness for Starbuck's Skinny Lattes! Now if only they were as cheap as making coffee at home.

To my neighbors: I'm sorry for the horrors you had to see this morning. It was not my preference to prance about the neighborhood in my pajamas. I especially hated chasing that bag of dog poo that blew out of the can and into the street. Unfortunately the males in my household neglected their responsibility of taking out the garbage. Grr! Had I known that I'd be taking it out, I would have at least wore matching pajamas that didn't show so much boobage. Thank you for not yelling "My eyes!" and instead saying "hello". I know it was hard for you, but it's nonetheless appreciated.

While I was taking Abby to school, taking out the garbage, scaring my neighbors and grabbing that Starbuck's Skinny Latte, Gracie was busy making a big ole stinky pile of poop in the house! I don't know why considering I had just taken her out before I left.

To my hubby: Yes you were right when you said we needed to buy toilet paper. I'm sorry that I disagreed with you because now there is one roll left in the whole house. I'm sure when my coffee kicks in I will be especially sorry that I didn't just let you buy some toilet paper when we were grocery shopping. You were right, I was wrong. I know it will make your day to see it in writing since I so rarely admit it.

I am still working hard on my monster paper. I have a few pages left and the slideshow to do. The paper needs to be done for tomorrow morning at 9:30. The slide show has to be done when I present the paper to the class which could be anytime from tomorrow until the last day we meet. I personally would like to get it over and done with and out of the way. I am hoping I can present tomorrow or Thursday. Other than getting out of the house for two fun little escapades (Amy's tupperware party and having a treat with my sis), I've been constantly working on this paper since Friday.

This is what I get for procrastinating

I spent the bulk of yesterday and so far much of today writing my paper. I will likely be at the computer the rest of the day today as well working on my 20 page paper for Ethnohistory. I am not one who writes papers slowly. I don't do them piece by piece. Anytime I have tried doing it that way I wound up with a mess. I like to sit down and in one day write the whole paper. It turns out more cohesive that way for me. This method has not failed me yet. I usually manage an A or B paper in this fashion. However my current task is the most lengthy I've ever had on my shoulders. It doesn't help that my topic is depressing. My topic is the Sierra Leone civil war with a focus on child soldiers.

I will be thrilled when I'm done with this and can present it in class and let it go. But for now, I am chained to the computer...writing.

Zzzzz....

I am on yet another new dose of Synthroid. And I'm tired. I am sooo tired. I need at least one nap per day. In my whole thyroid adventure I've only had the right dose of Synthroid for a 3 month time period.

Not to be all pathetic, but the really sucky part of thyroid cancer isn't the cancer itself. It's not the radiation or the surgery or the scans. It's this part. It's the never feeling good part. This part lasts so much longer. It seems so petty to complain about being tired, or weight gain, or skin issues. But it annoys me. And the tiredness is just so icky. It's like a tired that no amount of sleep or caffeine will help.

stressed to the gills

Despite getting fabulous test results and having a fantastic weekend, I am stressed out huge. I have a 20 page paper that was due...oh this morning. Guess how far I am? Well I've started the outline... I also have a project (25ish slides) due that I have no farking idea what to even do it on. Also lots of housework (no surprise there...my family doesn't stop needing clean undies just cuz it's crunch time with school) to do. It's spring cleaning time and there's lots that needs my attention....some of it will wind up being more of a summer cleaning project instead.

I am also doing a favor for a friend that involves giving up my evenings every night this week. Not complaining by any stretch because I'm glad I can help, but it adds to the busy feeling.

Also I'm pretty much going it solo 3 nights out of 5 because my hubby also has a busy week.

And I'm soooo tired. Still fighting this virus...yuck. Also I have a dosage adjustment on my Synthroid and my doc has already warned me I will be tired during the transition. I am always tired when my TSH is wrong, but this is the first time she's actually said something about so that makes me nervous.

I'm also starting week 2 of being on a 1500 calorie diet. I love my progress, but not eating is making me a bit cranky. I feel angry sometimes about food. Thank god for Coke Zero, sugar free Starbucks and 100 calorie packs or I might really freak out.

So basically if I don't email you back or it takes an hour or so to get a response to your text message, this is why. I don't deal well with being busy like this especially when I'm physically feeling yucky too.

Before I was a Mom...

My Mom emailed me this today. I love it...it's so true.

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

More test results

Today I got my blood test results.
Thyroglobulin is undetectable. Cancer free!
My TSH needs a little tweaking again, but I'm quite used to that. I haven't stayed on the same dose for more than 3 months since I started this thyroid adventure.

I really don't feel like a cancer patient. Well maybe I do a little still. But I feel like a normal person who is like 90% healthy with just a little naggy cancer issue. This is an improvement from feeling like my life was ruled by cancer. I don't feel like I'm in some crazy in between place waiting to get a clean bill of health anymore. Cancer...you are my bitch!

W00T!!!!!

Nothing here: no voice and no results

I am on day two of barely having a voice. Today it's actually worse or less of a voice. It's quite frustrating. I was supposed to give a presentation in class yesterday but stayed home because how can you present if you can't talk?!? I think I may get together a powerpoint slideshow for what I was going to say to show tomorrow in case my voice is still not back. It seems this is the semester for nearly every odd thing to happen. First my back, then Evan who never gets sick got the flu, the school shootings, now no voice! I am trying to see what the message is in all this.

I still have no results from my neck ultrasound. I was really hoping to hear something by yesterday. My Mom says "no news is good news" but in my experience, doctors don't always rush to tell you bad or negative news. For instance my surgeon had my cancer diagnosis for 4 days before he told me. (I'm really grateful for that because it allowed me to enjoy Halloween with my kids). Also my last bad ultrasound, it took my doctor a week to tell me because she was consulting with another doctor about it. So, I am pretty nervous. Both times I got the news on a Thursday, so I am hoping for news today. News on Thursdays feels like a bad omen. :woah: