As you may know, I have
social anxiety disorder . I was diagnosed with it almost 5 years ago, but it's something that I've struggled with most of my life. Social anxiety disorder sounds like a made-up affliction, doesn't it? I assure you, it's a real problem. Social situations cause me to have panic attacks which make me feel horrible. When I have an attack, my heart starts racing, I sweat, I feel dizzy and sometimes have trouble moving (my feet feel cemented to the spot I'm standing in). The worst is the upset stomach that comes during and after an attack.
The first time I remember having a panic attack was when my oldest child (now about to turn 14) was an infant. I had irrational fears of crowds, especially if my baby boy was surrounded by people. Over the years I went through stages where the attacks would get worse until they were bad enough that I went to the doctor. I tried medicating my anxiety, but that route caused different problems for me so I gave it up in favor of behavior modification. A lot of the time, it works. But there are some triggers, some places, that I cannot deal with or I will have a panic attack. Going inside Walmart for instance will practically guarantee an attack. I'm also not big on going to parties where I don't know a lot of people. Making phone calls (as silly as it seems) is also very hard for me. I can call my friends or family and feel okay while we are talking, but after I hang up I will analyze everything I said that was wrong (in my mind) and the anxiety starts building. If I have to call a company or a doctor, the anxiety is so bad that I have to actually psyche myself up to get it done. If I have to go to the doctor and deal with anything cancer related....whooo boy, those attacks are bad. My doctor jokingly asked me once if I would ever be happy to see her. Between you and I, probably not and it's nothing personal...she's a fabulous doctor and a nice person. I'm just terrified that she'll feel something in my neck. I don't want to go through
that again.
It's an embarrassing thing to live with. Especially if people misjudge me because of it. Sometimes, I have to explain to people that I'm not being rude, I just have social anxiety disorder. So why am I sharing this? Because having panic attacks and/or an anxiety disorder can be quite isolating. If you are reading this and what I'm describing sounds familiar...you aren't alone. Also, I want you to know that you can manage this.
A very wise friend of ours who also suffers from panic attacks gave me some advice one day that changed my outlook on dealing with the attacks. He told me that what he did was to talk himself out of them. This is the strategy that works the best for me. Unfortunately sometimes I have to talk about it out loud. So if you ever see my mumbling in the frozen food section of Walmart, you know what's going on. I haven't lost my darn mind, I'm trying to chill out an attack. Some other things that help:
*avoiding my triggers when possible or if it's a place that upsets me, taking someone with me helps.
*cooling myself down: turning on a fan, blasting the A/C in the car, etc...
*having something cold to drink like ice water
*puppy kisses
*a glass of wine (just one though, or it contributes to the out-of-body feeling)
*when all else fails, there are "rescue" drugs like
Lorazepam or
Xanax and there's no shame in needing them.
This
site also has some good strategies.
