Things I am tired of saying, but use on a daily basis.

When you have children, you find yourselves not only saying odd things that you thought you'd never have to say but repeating the same directions over and over. For instance:

*You need to stop
*That's a 1
*We don't hit our brother
*Arms (of couches) are for our arms, not our bottoms.
*Did you brush your teeth? ::pause:: today?
*Don't talk just to hear yourself talk.
*Whose wrapper is this?
*What do we do with our dishes when we are done eating?
*....and why am I paying you allowance?
*Clean up your noodle mess
*Please stop talking to your imaginary friends and get ready to go.
*Because I said so.
*Do you know why you had to sit in the naughty chair?
*No
*Soon
*We'll see (as in I don't really want to say "no" at this time because you'll flip out, but I have no intention of saying yes).

Abby's picnic party at the park

Saturday was Abby's birthday party for family and friends. We had it at a huge local park and it was a lot of fun. We played bocce, frisbee, & a bean bag toss. The kids played at the nice playset at the park. Thank you to everyone who joined us to celebrate Abby's birthday.

The birthday girl:




Both kiddos, and of course Evan looks less than thrilled because he's 13 and too cool for photos:






Alycia and I:



Love this one of Alycia and her husband Rob:

Abby's 6th birthday

Friday our baby turned 6 years old. It is hard to accept that it's been that long since she was born. Here is our first photo together:






I remember the ultrasound where my pregnancy was far enough along to see the baby's sex. Josh and I had decided we wanted to know, although we felt pretty sure we'd be having a boy. In the Orr family, girls didn't come along all that often. Secretly though, I desperately wanted a girl and knew she'd be named Abigail. When the technician said we were expecting a girl, I was shocked. I made her double check. I remember that floating on air feeling leaving the hospital knowing that I was finally getting a daughter.



My pregnancy with Abby wasn't the easiest. I was sick and I did a few stints of bed rest. She was delivered early (and let me tell you being induced is no picnic) because it was feared she'd be too big to be a vaginal delivery. She wasn't. She wound up weighing 8lbs 4 oz instead of the over 10lbs my doctor predicted. When we heard those first cries, we were so overjoyed that we were laughing through our tears. That's what Abby brings into our lives--lots of laughter.



And here she is on her 6th birthday. After a breakfast birthday celebration, we spent the day at the pool just as she requested.






A birthday waffle:











At the pool, trying to swim:









With her Daddy in the "big kid pool" as she calls it:




Wearing her apron with her rosy sunburned cheeks, helping her Daddy make frosting for her cookie pizza:








Stay tuned for her birthday party pictures to be posted.

Doing our part to stimulate the economy

Over the weekend, Josh and I bought a new table set for our kitchen. Our old table had a laminate top that was very chipped, lumpy and just falling apart. It was also just too big of a table and took up too much real estate in our small home. I've had my eye on the one we got for some time and finally our stimulus check came, so we got it. I really love it. It's all wood. No laminate of any kind. We kept two of our old chairs, so it seats 6 at all times. But it takes up a few less feet of room.

The sun

Because I'm having one of those times in my life moments where I need to hear lots of positive things. I love this that I saw on a blog that I often to read and wanted to share it.



Does the sun ask itself, “Am I good? Am I worthwhile? Is there enough of me?” No, it burns and it shines.

Does the sun ask itself, “What does the moon think of me? How does Mars feel about me today?” No it burns, it shines.

Does the sun ask itself, “Am I as big as other suns in other galaxies?” No, it burns, it shines.

—Andrea Dworkin
From Our Blood

For all my DeKalb/NIU friends

Esquire magazine has a lengthy article about the NIU shooter in this month's issue. It had a lot of information I'd not read about before and while it was upsetting to read and a little difficult to read because of the feelings it brings up, I'd suggest reading it.

Here's a link: click me

Water fun

If today had a theme, it would be water fun. And with the temperature in the 90's today was the perfect day to play in the water. First we went to a fun park in Geneva that had water sprinklers. We met Josh for lunch there and Abby played in the water. Evan sat with us "big kids" and we talked and enjoyed the sunshine.

Here's two pictures of Abby from the water park. I love the behind the bars look. Ha ha.







After Josh got home from work we went to the pool and had a really good time. Josh and Evan went off the high dive more times than I can count. Abby and I watched and cheered them on (but of course from inside the pool).

Today we visited our friends Amy, Brayden and Layna for a fun play date. It's so nice how well the kids get along. Abby had a lot of fun playing and I had a lot of fun visiting and watching the kids play. Nothing is better than the sound of them giggling and having a good time.

Reflecting on Remission

Sunday we also drove by Swedish American Hospital. It was sort of by accident. Feeling confused (and probably wanting to block out that area of town) I told Josh to turn the wrong way and then we were passing it by. It looked a little different since I've been there last because they are doing some construction. The same "Radiation Oncology" sign was there though and seeing it made my heart sink. It's been more than 2 years and 7 months since I first stepped foot into that building. That long since I first met my radiation oncologist, found out my treatment plan, and had to deal with some harsh realities. It's been less time since then that I had to stay in that hospital, go for scans and finally hear that my treatment worked. So while seeing that sign made me temporarily sad, I think about all that has passed since I first laid eyes on it.

While that was a tough time in my life, I am thankful for it. I am thankful that I had doctors who recognized that something was wrong, removed my tumor, killed my cancer cells and took care of me. It has been a long road to actually feeling better, but I feel that the end is in sight. I can see the finish line from here. The time is no longer uncertain as it was on that first trip to that hospital. I might not be insurable yet, but I'm getting there. Maybe an underwriter isn't wiling to bet on my life span, but I am. It's going to be long. I'm going to be around for my great-grandchildren. I feel confident that I've won and I won't face this battle again.

I am thankful that I had the opportunity to see who I can count on. No one likes to talk about cancer. No one likes to think about cancer. No one likes to see someone their age (or younger) be touched by the big C. But I am blessed to have people in my life who got passed that feeling and came through for our family. I still wrestle with some feelings I have about those who didn't and continue to not be there. But I like to focus on those that do. Cancer taught me a lot about the people in my life.

Cancer taught me a lot about my husband. I've learned that when he said the worse of "for better or worse" and the sicker of "in sickness and health" during our vows, he really meant it. He's certainly been tested on it. He's been strong for me when I didn't have the strength. He's been superdad when I didn't have the energy to be there for the kids. He's been my biggest cheerleader and always had a shoulder for me to cry on when I just needed to vent about how much this sucks.

Saturday night at our little get together, they toasted to my victory over cancer. But really I should have been toasting to all those who were my support team in kicking cancer's butt. So I'd like to take now to raise a glass to my all those who stood behind me. Thank you to:
My husband Josh for everything.
My kids, Abby and Evan for being patient, for making me laugh on those hard days, for all the hugs. For all the crayon portraits, for the times we chatted on instant messenger or the phone because I was toxic and couldn't be on the same floor of the house as you. For loving me. For being able to bounce back so quickly which inspired us adults to do the same.
To all the doctors in my cancer team: Dr. Karas, Dr. Ruetten, Dr. Bodner, Dr. Siddiqui, and Dr. Pedapati.
To the PA, Sara at my ob-gyn's office who noticed my thyroid didn't look quite right. You saved my life.
To my family for helping Josh with the kids.
To Josh's boss for being more amazing than she had to be.
To Matt for knowing that seeing a dog dressed up in a bee costume was just what I needed to see.
To Amanda for keeping me grounded, knowing what I'm talking about, and being my buddy as a survivor.
To Alycia for listening and reading my emails and listening some more.
To Jeri for being the first one of my friends to visit me after surgery.
To the AMPF boardies who have always supported me.
To Amy for walking in Relay for Life beside me and listening. You've done a lot of listening during the 25 years we've been friends.
To all of my friends who have supported me during this and continue to listen, I appreciate it!

Remission weekend

I feel like I should write some big emotional thing about being in remission but I'm really worn out, so I'm going to save it for another time. So here's the weekend in pictures.

Saturday night Josh threw me a little party. We did wine tasting and had a good time hanging out.

















Today we went to the Anderson Japanese Gardens in Rockford and spent the afternoon there. It was very beautiful and peaceful.

Steppin' out on the town

Tonight I went to an art show with my sister and then out for drinks. It was fabulous to have some girl time! I can't wait until Abby is old enough to go out with the girls.

Here we are:

Hair

I got my hair dyed, highlighted and cut last night. Feels good.






from the side:

The joys of being married to an ex-chef

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Ducks and Fish

We have had a fabulous weekend spending a lot of time outside. Saturday we spent the day hanging out with Matt and his brother Mike. First we went to the park and played frisbee. That was followed by a trip to the Sycamore pool. It was our first time at the local pool this summer and it was a lot of fun. Can't wait to go again!



Today we continued our outdoor fun. This morning Josh, Abby and I headed over to the Farmer's Market in Sycamore where we got to taste some local wine (not Abby of course!) and buy some local veggies and baked goods. They hold the market every Sunday and I'm sure we'll be visiting again.





After lunch we went over to the lagoon at NIU to feed the ducks. We were lucky and got to feed some babies.





Baby ducks in action







When the bread ran out, we decided to try our luck fishing in the lagoon. It was Abby's first time trying to fish and she was very excited. We found a good spot and were lucky to have 2 catches which we suspect may have been the same fish both times. The fish was a little stinker and pretty smart because it kept stealing the hot dog pieces we used as bait right off the hook.








The big catch:




And while all this fishing was going on, I was:




...reading of course!


There's nothing as relaxing to me as sitting outside on a warm sunny day with a good book and my family nearby.




Some more photos from today: