Reflecting on Remission

Sunday we also drove by Swedish American Hospital. It was sort of by accident. Feeling confused (and probably wanting to block out that area of town) I told Josh to turn the wrong way and then we were passing it by. It looked a little different since I've been there last because they are doing some construction. The same "Radiation Oncology" sign was there though and seeing it made my heart sink. It's been more than 2 years and 7 months since I first stepped foot into that building. That long since I first met my radiation oncologist, found out my treatment plan, and had to deal with some harsh realities. It's been less time since then that I had to stay in that hospital, go for scans and finally hear that my treatment worked. So while seeing that sign made me temporarily sad, I think about all that has passed since I first laid eyes on it.

While that was a tough time in my life, I am thankful for it. I am thankful that I had doctors who recognized that something was wrong, removed my tumor, killed my cancer cells and took care of me. It has been a long road to actually feeling better, but I feel that the end is in sight. I can see the finish line from here. The time is no longer uncertain as it was on that first trip to that hospital. I might not be insurable yet, but I'm getting there. Maybe an underwriter isn't wiling to bet on my life span, but I am. It's going to be long. I'm going to be around for my great-grandchildren. I feel confident that I've won and I won't face this battle again.

I am thankful that I had the opportunity to see who I can count on. No one likes to talk about cancer. No one likes to think about cancer. No one likes to see someone their age (or younger) be touched by the big C. But I am blessed to have people in my life who got passed that feeling and came through for our family. I still wrestle with some feelings I have about those who didn't and continue to not be there. But I like to focus on those that do. Cancer taught me a lot about the people in my life.

Cancer taught me a lot about my husband. I've learned that when he said the worse of "for better or worse" and the sicker of "in sickness and health" during our vows, he really meant it. He's certainly been tested on it. He's been strong for me when I didn't have the strength. He's been superdad when I didn't have the energy to be there for the kids. He's been my biggest cheerleader and always had a shoulder for me to cry on when I just needed to vent about how much this sucks.

Saturday night at our little get together, they toasted to my victory over cancer. But really I should have been toasting to all those who were my support team in kicking cancer's butt. So I'd like to take now to raise a glass to my all those who stood behind me. Thank you to:
My husband Josh for everything.
My kids, Abby and Evan for being patient, for making me laugh on those hard days, for all the hugs. For all the crayon portraits, for the times we chatted on instant messenger or the phone because I was toxic and couldn't be on the same floor of the house as you. For loving me. For being able to bounce back so quickly which inspired us adults to do the same.
To all the doctors in my cancer team: Dr. Karas, Dr. Ruetten, Dr. Bodner, Dr. Siddiqui, and Dr. Pedapati.
To the PA, Sara at my ob-gyn's office who noticed my thyroid didn't look quite right. You saved my life.
To my family for helping Josh with the kids.
To Josh's boss for being more amazing than she had to be.
To Matt for knowing that seeing a dog dressed up in a bee costume was just what I needed to see.
To Amanda for keeping me grounded, knowing what I'm talking about, and being my buddy as a survivor.
To Alycia for listening and reading my emails and listening some more.
To Jeri for being the first one of my friends to visit me after surgery.
To the AMPF boardies who have always supported me.
To Amy for walking in Relay for Life beside me and listening. You've done a lot of listening during the 25 years we've been friends.
To all of my friends who have supported me during this and continue to listen, I appreciate it!