The 1st Day Back

Yesterday was my first day going to class after the shootings. It was so hard...worse than I thought it would be. I had a major panic attack just driving there. As I've said before, most of the time I am fine and feel like I am okay with it. But then the oddest things make me emotional. Yesterday it was the therapy dogs. They have had them on campus all week for people to pet which I think is neat. I know petting my Gracie makes me feel less sad. As I was turning from Normal Rd onto Lucinda, I saw a red husky and he/she was all dressed up in black and red. And for some reason that just pushed me over the edge. I had to call my Mom from the parking lot just to hear a friendly voice tell me I could do it.

It was my professor's first day back and she was clearly having a hard time being there. We talked about the shooting and the demolishing of Cole for about 1/2 of the class period. I don't really know what else we talked about because I really zoned out. I just wanted to go home.

Most of the day yesterday I spent just relaxing and playing with the kids. My brain felt too overloaded to do much else. I really hope that Tuesday will be an easier day for me. I have to give an oral presentation which makes me nervous enough as it is.

Some more photos of around campus/town. Click on any picture to make it larger.
Memorial at the Lutheran Campus Ministry:


These banners are up all over DeKalb.


Nearly every business has something like this on their sign: