Diving in

I joined a gym on Tuesday.  It's 30 minutes from my house, but it's much nicer than any we have near us.  I wanted something with a pool and the only gym here with a pool & good hours is the YMCA which has a yucky pool and a weird layout. The gym I joined is also where my husband and 4 of our friends are members. So I figure having other people to go with is good thing too.

The experience of signing up was sort of humbling because I had to discuss my weight and goals with a total stranger. And all this took place in front of my husband, so it was further humbling. But I'm glad that I did it. I felt really supported by my husband and by the staff that I encountered there, so it's a positive step. I'm excited about having a place to go and work out regularly.  I plan on swimming laps at first and then moving on to other low impact exercises like the bike or elliptical machine.

It's definitely forcing me to face some anxiety head on too because it's a new routine for me. I feel weird about the changing & showering in the locker room and working out in front of strangers. I also have to go through a personal training session which I'm sure will be helpful but will also be an anxious situation for me. I'm really looking forward to putting the extra effort into getting healthy and getting the weight off. So today I'm going to get that first time over with and I hope that it all goes well. I was going to go today, but I'm have been fighting back a panic attack all morning & am waiting for 2 doctor's offices to call me.  So I'll either go tomorrow or during the weekend when I feel more prepared.