It was in August 1997 that I first set foot on the NIU campus as a student. I remember how exciting that first day felt. I felt like a dream was coming true for me. I figured in just a couple of years I'd graduate. I never foresaw all the hurdles that would get in my way between that day and today. It's funny how things turn out.
Today has not at all gone in the way I expected it to go. I had expected to fight back tears all day because I miss my Dad. I expected to make the best of it so I didn't have any regrets later. Then I wanted to have a nice low-key lunch with family & friends at my favorite restaurant.
After being up until 11pm last night cleaning my house in preparation for the weekend festivities, I faced a sleepless night. Not out of excitement, but because my back hurt me. And our daughter was up a couple of times complaning of her ear hurting. I actually woke up before my alarm went off today. I woke up and I was only able to stand at a 75 degree angle until I rubbed some icy hot into my back muscles. As we were getting ready to go to campus, I found out that the last of my friends I'd invited to the ceremony had to cancel. Sigh, I was disappointed that none of my friends would be there, but I also understood.
One block before reaching the convo center for the ceremony, Abby announced she was sick and needed to throw up. She did, all over my new car. (Yes I consider 10 months old to still be new) And then we were late and not sure what to even do about the ceremony. Since my godparents had driven out from the suburbs to be there for me, I couldn't very well call them up and tell them I wasn't going. So off we went. I went to line up with the other grads, wondering if Abby was upstairs puking or if someone was taking her to see the doctor.
Rather than being sad about my Dad, I worried about Abby. And then I didn't. I just tried to be in the moment. After all I deserved that moment and before I knew it, it was over. And I didn't cry. I felt sort of peaceful actually.
Abby was fine through the ceremony and we even managed to take a few pictures afterwards before the Convo employees gave us the boot. On the way home from the ceremony though, we had to stop every few blocks for Abby to get out and puke. So we had to cancel those lunch reservations.
I was feeling sorry for myself. I was feeling such a huge sense of disappointment. But then my husband, my Mom and my sister saved the day. Josh took Abby to the doctor where she was diagnosed with an ear infection. And the rest of the family went out for lunch. They took care of me. And it was a nice low-key lunch, with plenty of happy baby smiles from my niece, sweet thoughtful gifts from my family and what I needed the most...their company. It's funny how things turn out sometimes.
My graduation day didn't turn out how I thought it would, but I got what I needed. I got my degree. I got my graduation experience. And most importantly, I got to be with my family. And now I know I have a friend who loves me enough to watch my graduation ceremony live online. Thank you Alycia. You win a special place in my heart for doing that.
my graduation dress...
My graduation was nothing at all as I expected either in fact I didn't even attend my ceremony. I always imagined what it would be like but it was much more of an internal sense of accomplishment. I picked up my diploma in June with my ex and we went to lunch. He kissed me and said he's proud of me. It wasn't the way I imagined or other people did it but it was my moment : ) Congratulations !
ReplyDeleteI think that is so cool that you can watch it online. Congratulations on graduating!
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