Test results

Good news: my thyroglobulin test came back as "undectected" which means there are presumably no thyroid cells running around in my body.
Not-so-good news: my doctor is still worried about my strangely large (and continuing to grow) lymph nodes. She has decided I needed a biopsy. So next week I am going to have a big f*@$ needle in my neck to check it all out.

I'm trying to look at this as good news, but I can't help but be scared of what they might find. I didn't sleep at all last night and I'm super tired and stressed out today so that makes it hard to be rational.

It's hard to be supermom when you feel poopy or are worried about something so huge. But I'm plugging on. Daughter loves school and I'm finally okay with her going. It was sooo hard for me the first few days. I love picking her up because she is so excited to see me. Son seems to also like school and is trying much harder this year to get those grades he is capable of. I'm proud of them both.

I love my classes. They are both quite challenging and homework heavy, but I'm excited about learning new things.

Awww!

I wish I had a little boy to dress up in this adorable frog costume from Target. I doubt my 12 year old would let me stuff him into it.

Meeting the teacher

Today we went to meet Abby's teacher. While we were there, the tornado siren went off and we wound up spending almost an hour in the basement with the whole school. It was cramped and about a thousand degrees in there. Ick. I felt bad for the little kids who were scared and crying. Evan was just about to get on the bus when the siren went off and they brought everyone back in and put them in the basement. Not knowing this, I was totally freaking out about his safety because I was afraid he'd get home and we weren't there. OMG.

We had some pretty crazy storms here today. A funnel cloud even touched down by Josh's office. Luckily he was huddled in the basement with me at the time and not driving home like he would have been on a normal day.

Beautiful and horrifying photos

While exploring Flickr, I found this really moving photoset of the Katrina aftermath...13 months later. I am really shocked and horrified that our government is not making this better.

Crying in my Beer (or really a Coke Zero)

I really hate when my hubby has to travel for work. For one I miss him like crazy. Secondly, it sucks to be the one left behind. I know that he's not just working...he's having fun. Considering his co-worker/business partner is also his best friend...it's not all work going on. It's especially hard when you facing a health crisis. But I'm trying to make it fun this time.
*we rented a few movies
*bought junk food he'd never buy (for me diet cherry coke and vanilla coke zero).
*I'm going to hog the bed.

Maybe someday it will be fun to be alone? Like when the kids are grown and out of the house....13 years from now!

The cherry on a nasty-week-sundae

Today was my endocrinologist appointment. It was a follow-up and also time to discuss my ultrasound results.

She has been watching 3 of my lymph nodes. 2 of them grew in size since my last ultrasound. 1 of those 2 is nearly triple the size it should be. Despite my negative thyroglobulin and clear scan in January there is some concern that my cancer is back and has spread. Yuck.

So now more testing to see if that's the case. August 27th I go for my 1st Thyrogen shot. Next day (unfortunately also 1st day of school) is my 2nd Thyrogen shot. Then that Friday I will go for a blood test to test my thyroglobulin level. Here is some info on the test for those of you who don't get the thyroid lingo.


I'm trying to keep it together, but I'm feeling like I was nearly 2 years ago when I was going through my cancer diagnosis. In light of my news today, I'm wondering if I should even start this semester of school. If I have to go through surgery, testing, and treatment then I can't really deal with school. And tomorrow I was going to go pick up my books. I have a lot on my mind...

What a week...and it's only Wednesday.

Monday: felt sick/off most of the day.
Tuesday: major trouble with oldest child. Ultrasound of neck...not fun!
Wednesday: major trouble with youngest child.

So this week has been a lot of yelling, crying, scolding, time-outs, worrying, discussing, and stressing. Why is it that kids know when you are vulnerable and pick that time to be the most behaved? I swear they do it. This week has been stressful for me because I am waiting to see whether or not my cancer is back/still there. I'm not a big fan of having cancer by the way. I want to focus on getting on with my life and getting healthy again. So it's been stressful and the trouble with the kids makes it more stressful.

I think I need Mommy time again....