Life Goes On?

Abby is having a really hard time with losing her Papa. Last night she woke up crying and told me that she was afraid that when she grew to be an adult she would die really quick. I told her that she'll grow into a very old woman with lots of grandbabies to love and kiss.

After I dropped Abby off at school, it began to snow. It's not accumulating. Just big pretty flakes...the 1st of the season. Another painful reminder of what my Dad is not here to see. But also in a way, I'm sure he's relieved to be missing out another Chicago winter. Chicago winters suck. The shoveling, the slippery pavement, the driving in it.

On my to-do list for today and tomorrow:
*Take 2 archaeology quizzes online.
*Begin writing my paper on Sierra Leone. I love the topic, but also wears me out emotionally. I'm not sure I have the emotional energy for it now.
*Find a psychologist that is in our insurance plan. I need someone to talk to.
*Get the house clean. It's been neglected for so long.

A day in the life

I thought it would be interesting to chronicle a typical day in my life. I've seen it done on other journals/blogs, so I thought hey, why not!? Plus I haven't taken photos in awhile and was itching to do so.



6:45--Wake up and make sure that Evan is going to the bus stop rather than still sleeping. Start getting me and Abby dressed, etc.
7:30--Wake Josh up so he can shower. Give Abby her nose spray and breathing treatment. Be forced to watch Penelope Pitstop...it's Abby's choice.


8:00--Throw the chicken for tonight's dinner in the crock pot.
8:30--Take Abby to school.
Big sigh of relief...now I'm alone. Have breakfast and coffee while checking email, facebook, etc.
Breakfast today was cinnamon toast and coffee...

Do homework.



Do laundry.

Clean house.

Take Gracie outside and feed her. Here she is waiting for her treat after going potty.

Meet Sandy for lunch. I don't do this every day obviously, although it would be nice. LOL.

Go to class. Fight to stay awake since I've made myself hypothyroid after running out of Synthroid and waiting for more to arrive (finally did yesterday...Woot!) On the upside, it was so beautiful outside today. I really enjoyed my walk to class.



On the way home from class, stop in town and run an errand.



Get the mail, take the dog out. Spend about 20 minutes relaxing before Evan gets home from school.

Pick up Abby from school.

Check online to see what Evan's homework is and if he has missing work. Find out that he has a missing assignment and proceed to listen to 2 hours worth of protests and whining out of him while he tries desperately to avoid privilege loss.



Finish making chicken tacos which were super yummy.



Clean up dinner dishes.

Start up more laundry.

Declare that I need a few minutes to myself. Grab some Baileys & Milk and scoot upstairs along with Gracie to veg for a few minutes.



Watched Peanut's Valentine's Day special with Josh and Abby.



After Josh puts Abby to bed, watch Scrubs and do more laundry.

It was a busy day, but the important thing is that at the end of it...this who I get to be with...

An update on the chaos that is our lives...

Abby enjoyed going to school Wednesday, Thursday and Friday last week.  I really enjoyed going to school myself too.  It was also nice to have that time where I was alone at home to do some homework and get some housework done.  

We have unfortunately had a few more bumps in the road though.  Our desktop computer broke.  It probably seems small in comparison to everything else, but to me it really sucks.  I love playing The Sims 2 on that computer...it's my stress reliever.  Also, since that computer is out of service, our printer has stopped communicating with my Macbook which annoys me since I need to print things out for school. Ugh. 

Abby is also sick and was nearly hospitalized again.  She had a very bad asthma attack and her oxygen level was too low.  Luckily her doctor decided I could take her home on some strong steroids and give her nebulizer treatments every 4 fours rather than be admitted.  Unfortunately though she is missing school yet again.  She's off until further notice, but I'm hoping it will only turn out to be today and tomorrow.  As a result of her missing school, I am missing school. We are going back to the pediatrician tomorrow to see if Abby is breathing better.  

I am feeling very frustrated and to steal Amy's name for it...having a mommy meltdown!  I am not sure if I should stay in school or not.  I've missed a lot and am getting behind.  But at this point, I'd have to withdraw rather than drop and it will have some pretty negative consequences for me. I also hate to go to my professors and ask for favors.  I had to do that during cancer treatment and it sucked a lot.  I still feel icky about it.  I don't want to get to that point again.  Hopefully things will turn around for us soon.  I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but I feel like every time we take a step forward it's only to get hit in the face with something new. 

So that this isn't all negative, I'll leave you with a silly picture of myself.  I'm currently dying my hair and drinking some tea while doing my homework.  Oh yes, I multi-task.

Stop this crazy ride, I want to get off for awhile!

Have you ever wished that you could put life on pause while you deal with a crisis or illness? Well that's how I've been feeling the past few weeks. I only wish I had a magic remote control to pause our lives. If only it worked that way. It goes back even before Abby's accident happened with feeling stressed about various different things.

Since Abby broke her leg, the things I was stressing over before have faded into the background and were replaced by new worries. In a way, it was good to be reminded of the things that are worth worrying about. The other things were trivial compared to my worry over my daughter. But on the other hand, I'd really just like some time to not worry for awhile.

All of my posts on here as well as my real life conversations have revolved around Abby's leg. How it's doing, how she's doing, how we are taking care of her and what the consequences of her injury are for the family. The reason that everything revolves around the topic of her broken leg is because right now our lives revolve around her injury. She can't go to the bathroom by herself...it takes both Josh and I to get there. She cannot get around by herself yet...we carry her or wheel her around. I cannot count how many times per day I am Abby's step-and-fetch-it-girl.

Added to all that is the fact that Josh and I both started our spring semesters on Monday. I had to drop a class because I will have to pick Abby from school (when she goes back) rather than Josh because my car is bigger so I only have 3 classes. I am at NIU every day of the week attending class. Josh has only 1 class this semester but it meets for 3 hours on the night that he has to go. I love school. I am thankful for the opportunity to attend NIU this semester, but school adds a lot of time commitment and work to the already full load I have right now.

I know it sounds like I'm complaining. I am not. I am just sharing what a typical day is like around our house now. I would do anything for Abby and Evan. I am just looking forward to the time I spend with them being fun playtime instead!

I also want to explain that the reason that I haven't called, emailed, sent out thank you notes and even a few lingering Christmas cards/gifts is because I'm swamped. I'm overtired and overwhelmed with life right now. Since I can't press pause, I can only ask for patience...yours and mine. Eventually life will get back to normal (whatever that is) and I'll get back on the ball with everything.

The Buddhist monk and teacher Thich Nhat Hanh said, “People deal too much with the negative, with what is wrong...Why not try and see positive things, to just touch those things and make them bloom?” This is my goal for today. Not seeing only what is wrong, but trying to see the good in all this craziness right now. No matter how hard that may be. But until I get that, I will just have to settle for the occasional giggle I get from laughing at myself.

Finishing Up

This week and next are insane for me with finishing up the semester so I am having to remind myself of how worth it is and how nice my break will be. Between now and next Thursday, I have:
*tons of homework
*tons of reading to catch up on
*a 5 page paper to write
*a 10-15 page paper to write
*an oral exam
*a visit to the language lab
*2 finals

And of course, since the world doesn't stop for my needs (wouldn't that be nice) I will still have a house and family to take care of. Did I mention that I promised Abby we'd decorate our tree tonight too? Aack!

Almost there

I am nearly done with this semester. I am looking forward to having a break and getting ready for Christmas. I'm especially looking forward to the kids being on break and baking cookies and hanging out with them. I have one more week of classes and then finals. Of course this means that now I'm cramming in the studying and working on my papers. Why do they always make those do right at the end anyway?!? So I have been spending most of my free time reading, researching or typing. Here's how I'm getting through it:

*The new Espresso Truffle coffee at Starbucks. OMG, delicious!
*Catnaps
*Bribing the kids to be quiet
*Having my sweet Gracie to cuddle with while I read (although this usually leads to a catnap)



*Diet A&W Cream Soda. Yum!
*And my pink desk area (psst...I voted for Obama). I can't wait until we have time to paint our bedroom.

Our weekend

This is one of those Sunday nights where I'm sitting here scratching my head and wondering where the weekend went. It was a busy one for sure. Josh put in a lot of Jamapps hours this weekend along with his partner. While I'm thrilled about their current project and the company's success, it's always hard to give up our alone time as a couple on the weekend.

But we had a date on Saturday afternoon to make up for that! My Mom watched the kids and gave us the afternoon to ourselves. We went shopping. The World Market by her is going out of business and we picked up a few deals there. Like $.25 for a placemat! We also went to The Container Store and drooled over the organizational stuff. That place is a dream come true for the small OCD part of me.

We tried a fabulous Thai Restaurant in Hoffman Estates called Taste of Thai for lunch. We had appetizers, drinks, lunch specials and dessert for only $30. So I definitely recommend it if you want to go somewhere different, nice and reasonable.



My appetizer

stressed to the gills

Despite getting fabulous test results and having a fantastic weekend, I am stressed out huge. I have a 20 page paper that was due...oh this morning. Guess how far I am? Well I've started the outline... I also have a project (25ish slides) due that I have no farking idea what to even do it on. Also lots of housework (no surprise there...my family doesn't stop needing clean undies just cuz it's crunch time with school) to do. It's spring cleaning time and there's lots that needs my attention....some of it will wind up being more of a summer cleaning project instead.

I am also doing a favor for a friend that involves giving up my evenings every night this week. Not complaining by any stretch because I'm glad I can help, but it adds to the busy feeling.

Also I'm pretty much going it solo 3 nights out of 5 because my hubby also has a busy week.

And I'm soooo tired. Still fighting this virus...yuck. Also I have a dosage adjustment on my Synthroid and my doc has already warned me I will be tired during the transition. I am always tired when my TSH is wrong, but this is the first time she's actually said something about so that makes me nervous.

I'm also starting week 2 of being on a 1500 calorie diet. I love my progress, but not eating is making me a bit cranky. I feel angry sometimes about food. Thank god for Coke Zero, sugar free Starbucks and 100 calorie packs or I might really freak out.

So basically if I don't email you back or it takes an hour or so to get a response to your text message, this is why. I don't deal well with being busy like this especially when I'm physically feeling yucky too.